We know women are paid less than men for work of equal value. We also know women shoulder more household responsibilities than men. But here’s something I learned recently that I didn’t know: girls spend more time doing household chores than boys do, are paid less than boys for doing them, and receive smaller allowances.
According to the New York Times, one analysis found that teenage boys do 30 minutes of daily housework to girls’ 45, and that while girls spend slightly less time doing chores than they did a decade ago, the amount of time boys spend doing them hasn’t budged. Another study that looked at families who used the chore app BusyKid found that boys earned twice what girls did for doing chores — $13.80 a week on average compared to $6.71. (Boys were also likelier to be paid for brushing their teeth and taking a shower, while girls were typically remunerated for cleaning.)
Since one of the main reasons women are paid less than men and fall behind them in their careers is because they have to carry a heavier burden on the home front, the Times reported that researchers argue if we’re going to achieve equality, we don’t just have to prepare girls to do paid work—we have to teach boys to do unpaid work.
As the mother of three daughters and a son, that research definitely caught my attention. It made me think about the connection between work, money and power, how our attitudes about those connections are forged, and in particular, whether I was guilty of unconsciously reinforcing outmoded gender stereotypes around work and money in my own home.
My oldest is now 21 and my youngest 14. When my kids were little I paid them an allowance for helping out around the house since I found it was the only way to motivate them. As they grew older, however, I stopped paying them an allowance. I decided that since we were all members of the household, it was reasonable to expect we should all contribute to its upkeep, and I shouldn’t have to pay them to pitch in. I did come to realize, however, that I was expecting my son to take on the heavier outside tasks like taking out the garbage and recycling, and the girls to take on the lighter inside ones like unloading the dishwasher and washing the floors. Once I recognized a job was just a job and there really wasn’t any good reason to assign them as I had been, I course corrected.
It’s not news that the way kids are raised shapes their attitudes about their self-worth. But it also shapes their perceptions about how much their work is valued and what kind of work they’re expected to do. If you’re a girl, and your brother is pocketing twice the cash that you are for doing work of equal value (and earning a bonus for brushing his teeth!), it sends a pretty strong message on a number of fronts.
The messages kids receive around unpaid work at home also influence how much of it they’ll be willing to take on as adults, both at work and in their own homes. If they’re raised in an environment where everyone’s expected to contribute equally no matter what the task, they’ll see that as the norm, and if the balance is out of whack, they won’t be shy about addressing it.