Resilience is one of the most important qualities a leader can have. That has always been true, but it’s especially true today, when you need a crystal ball to predict what’s coming and steel stomach to manage what’s already arrived. When we think of resilience, we tend to think of someone who overcomes devastating circumstances in extraordinary ways: Terry Fox, for instance. Or a tornado victim that loses everything and bravely soldiers on. But resilience also applies to a leader who has to guide a team through any number of leadership challenges. If you’re a leader, not having resilience really isn’t an option. You need it to succeed. But how do you get it?
According to the scientists who study it, resilience is like a muscle, one that develops in the same way as any other: the more you work it, the stronger it gets. Fortunately, researchers have also discovered you can strengthen it before stress hits. Here are a few ways you can start doing resilience reps.
Look on the bright side
Even if you’re a look-for-the-silver-lining kind of person, and I count myself among their ranks, sometimes no matter how hard you spin the situation, it just doesn’t feel as if there is any silver lining. If you’ve been repeatedly passed over for a promotion despite knowing you’re the most qualified person for the job, you’re unlikely to think cheery thoughts. But the kind of optimism you need isn’t the kind where you paste on a smile and pretend life is grand. It’s less about denial than about shifting the lens one degree to the right and viewing your situation as a growth opportunity. Not that you were looking for that particular growth opportunity at that particular moment. But that’s life, and recognizing that fact, taking a deep breath and pressing on is what resilience is all about. Since optimism is genetic to some degree, you might have to work a little harder than a born optimist to build your resilience muscle, but since it can also be learned, you can rebound. And that is something to cheer about.
Look for the takeaway
When setbacks happen, resilient people don’t take them personally. They go directly to the takeaway. Instead of asking themselves, ‘Why me?’ they ask themselves, “What can I learn from this experience?” They do this for a simple reason: looking for the lesson puts them back in the driver’s seat, and understanding why things went awry helps them avoid such pitfalls in the future. For resilient people, failure is never final. It’s just a step along the way.
Play a long game
If you’re someone who needs immediate gratification you’re going to have a hard time building resilience. You’ll struggle because it takes energy and single-minded focus to build it, just as it does to strengthen any muscle. If you’re constantly frustrated about falling short of your goals, you’ll just waste energy. That’s why you have to play a long game. When I’m in the thick of it I build my resilience by continually reminding myself that change is hard, anything worth achieving takes time, persistence and grit, and what’s here today will be water under the bridge tomorrow.